各位，身为“手提电脑终结者”的我，又把最近修复没多久的电脑给“搞定”了 。Orz

最近也懒得把电脑拿去维修，这几天都是靠事务所的电脑和Iphone支撑着，虽然觉得有点不方便 （不能回家上MSN，更新FB和Space）； 不过至少不至于和网路世界脱节。我觉得，我真的不适合用手提电脑，还是老实点，买架台式的电脑好了。

终于把張禮文的《窮人與富人的距離0.05mm》看完了， 说实在他写得还真贴切，人，真的是要趁还年轻的时候爬得越高越好，不管是知识，还是的经验，都必须在自己还有能力的时候去争取：

穷人害怕麻烦；富人转换麻烦

穷人把身家赌在一根稻草上；富人把命运攥在自己的手里

穷人拄别人赏赐的拐杖；富人发现自己的门与路

穷人认为钱在富人的手里；富人认为钱在穷人的手里

穷人能看一寸；富人能看一丈

说白点，其实穷人和富人最大的距离就是，富人允许自己的口袋空，但他不允许自己的脑袋空； 而穷人允许自己的脑袋空，而不允许自己的口袋空。

就算在富有的人，没有脑袋，事实上，他也只不过是个外表富裕心灵掏空的穷光蛋。

嗯。没错。 看完这本书后，我得到的结论是，我实在是个穷人。什么专业人士，其实都只不过是一个被冠上的名号。

老一辈的人常说：多学少成；少学多成。 说的不是你学得越少就代表你成功的机会越大；说的，其实是你专心于一个你认为可以帮到你成功的，而不是三心两意，什么都学，得到了一个学位就开始满足，事实上，你的得到的，是否真的能帮到你呢？

没有电脑的夜晚， 我在張禮文的文笔下，反复的想了这个问题。

你活在这个世界上的意义何在? 这是我爸曾经问过我的。

21岁的时候我的回应是“我要成功”

隔年，我爸又问了我这个问题， 我说“我要在30岁前成功”

今年，当我步上司法这条道路的时候， 他又问了我这个问题。 我的答案竟然是“我不知道”

其实，不管是21 岁的热血，23岁大学毕业生的高傲和自我肯定，还是已经踏出社会工作1年多的上班族，每个时段给的不同答案，都反映了我对自己的不肯定。

到底，什么才是活在这世界上的真正意义？

我还是没有答案。

上周6 去了英国教育展，遇见了以前诺大教我商业法的Mr. Williams。真的很开心。聊了快1小时的我们，我也和他说了我的不安。他随口一句就问了我“那你来这里的原因，是在找答案吗？”。 我握着手上不同大学硕士学位的资料，想了一想，很肯定地回答他：“没错， 就因为没有答案，我要寻找能让我满足的解答”。 他笑了一笑， 说到，

“There is no one definite answer to all questions in life, you might find it; you might not, but in the process, you will find answers to more than just the questions you ask.”

谢谢你，有了你这一句话，我更能肯定我自己的想法了。

虽然现在还不知道到底能不能实现，不过至少我已经开始在安排。计划总赶不上变化，不过我相信踏出第一步，已经是很不错的开始了。

方语录：『机会是为愿意接纳它的人而存在。』

PS: 这一篇是在事务所写的，这因该不算在偷懒吧？哈！

没错，这和台湾游没任何关系。

台湾归来的第4天，还是提不起劲来写台湾游后感。这几天除了上班，我想就是在家里当寄生虫 乖孩子吧。

周六一连跑了3个商场，我想应该很久没有那么操劳了。（屁，你就是爱逛街）好，重点来了，我。。。又败家了啦。。。 台湾回来后接着又买东西，这个月份还有2周呐，怎么办啦？？？结果的得到结论是，接下来是吃面包豆浆水煮蛋的日子了。

最近迷上看哲学书籍，发现原来越是想装聪明越是觉得自己好蠢 –什么人生大道理阿，其实只是身边的一些琐碎事情演变出来的哲理；是我们没去发掘，反倒是忽略了它们的存在而已。一个人的成功原来是在于你是否能察觉那些平常被忽视的事项，然后加以善用它们。（嗯，废话）

今天午睡的时候发了一个梦，醒后心情有点交错。梦中的那两个人，拿着行李不知要往哪里去，男的牵着女生的手，在火车站等火车，画面然后就转向一间房间，女生，坐在床的一角，闷闷不乐，男的，走向她问了一句“你不开心吗？”，女的没作答。不知为何，男的似乎看透了女生的心事 – 他握着她的手，说了“不要担心，什么事情都有我，因为。。。。” 梦就在这里被外来的声音给打断了。

虽然我对最后的那几句没听到的话很在意，也有点郁闷为什么剧情到了高潮就被打断 （喂，喂这不是连续剧）不过我似乎已经猜到男生最后会说些什么了，因为，梦里的那位男生，就是我。 （呵呵，这不是在卖广告）

潜意识中发的一场梦，很贴切很写实，其实我内心，原来一直隐藏这那几句话，那一点事，还没去说，还没去做。

说到做事，已经是10月份了，2009年很快就要来到尾声了。这一年来发生的事情，就像迈克尔·舒马赫F1急转弯一样 -- 即迅速又刺激。来到最后，也让这一年华丽地做一个ending吧。

12月份的澳洲旅游，还有New Year的香港之旅，我可是很期待的哦，也是时候为全新的一年，全新的自己打造一个新形象，新开始了。是时候刷新我的生活啦！

那今天就用久违的『方语录』做finale好了：

『过去的你是谁不重要，今天的你是谁也不重要，重要的是明天你要当谁。』

我其实想当。。。暴发户的说。。。（被巴

I don't usually write about birthdays, especially mine. In a way it makes me look old. But this time I'm going to make an exception. Having said that, I celebrated my 24th birthday (yes, 24th!!!! OLD!!) last Thursday in Hatfield. like previous years in UK, I never intended to celebrate my birthday, but the unknown always seemed to crawled behind the shadow, or so they say XD

It all began on the evening of the 24th, got my GF's dog for a routine checkup at the Vet. When I got home, I receive a call from Derek asking me whether I'm free that evening for a round of DOTA. I was all delighted to go for the session but I was utterly exhausted after going to the vet and decided to pass on the invitation. It was then that my GF who usually distaste my likings on gaming said to me :" why not go play a few rounds? you're bored at home anyway."

Not usually her line of speech, but I was glad that she gave me the green light. Though I was curious as to why she wanted me out of the house despite the fact that we haven't had dinner. " it's alright, I'll make something up myself" she said. Oh well, the car was right downstairs waiting for me to pack up my laptop and go, and again, my suspicion ran deeply as the lads never seemed so anxious about a game  of DOTA.

Ok so I went DOTA'ing, for 5 hours. definitely tired. Derek gave me a ride back and when I turn myself around after the stairway, there it was . HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING. A card, placed right at the centre of the door. I was speechless. I grab hold of the card, couldn't wait to open it, but instead I open the door first despite the 'instructions' on the card "READ before you enter". when I opened the door, a smooth yet familiar song filled the room. It was the routine birthday song. Tears wasn't flowing, mind you, but it was deeply touched, from the bare foundations. "happy birthday Brandon" she said whilst handling over my present.

"let me guess, the watch I always wanted." I asked.

"Yes, sorry that I such money on getting you a present, but I just knew that you'll like it".

Indeed, it was the watch I always wanted, could had gotten it myself, but never bothered. Now, it's been given to me, by the one person dearest, and it meant a whole new meaning.

Thank you Derek, Tony and Chris  for luring me out for a game of DOTA whilst my GF secretly prepares the surprise, and thank you for all the wishes given by those who meant a lot to me: Seak Chiew, Terence, Khai Lim, Ai Ling, Joseph and of course my family.

And to you, my dear, thank you so much for the lovely surprise :)

PS: We had dinner at Nandos on the 25th itself and Derek even got me a Strawberry cake from the toilet!!! Well he did say he was off to the toilet but it took him 30mins to come out so I guess the cake came from the toilet XD

Thanks again for the wonderful 24th Birthday. 

Time to pack up and go back to UK they say.

Indeed, the past one and half months flew by faster than one's adaptation to the country's political drama, and having to collect myself once again and embark yet on another journey to the Brit's Land. However, this will not be the same ol' routine trip to UK. There will be no court visiting, no advocacy, and of course, no 9am morning lectures. Having to graduate finally in July (which I missed), I have stamped the full-stop on my academic life and am now officially done with University. Having said that, the end of one journey signifies the beginning of another. During my stay in Malaysia, I've found a place to Chamber and a place (hopefully) to call home.

So WHAT am I doing going back to UK? Well firstly, to pack my stuffs. hmm, not a very convincing reason to spend RM3838 just to fly back and PACK my stuffs. Honestly, the only reason I can think of on top of my mind now is to - prolong my stay in the UK before selling myself to th e devil for the rest of my life working. Note, in addition to that 'one' reason I crapped out, I also need to attend my Deferred Trinity Call in October. So is there a good enough reason to go back? You bet there is.

3 years ago, I left Malaysia and went to UK alone. Being a freshman and all, life in UK has given me a lot of wisdom and philosophy to ponder upon -  being independent, considerate, hardworking, and most of all caring. And now, after what seemed to be yesterday, I am about to end my life in UK with a 4 months of travelling, getting wasted, and feeling the 'Europe' around me before I head back.

I've already started to miss the lads in UK.

Summer has seen its day. Swiftly moving on and Autumn is right around the corner. With summer's raucous noises, a simple dream seen in spring has turned into a small heartbreak. The melancholy autumn wind speaks quietly of its meaning... Your hearts true self...

离开纽卡的第31天，马来的天气依然暗淡无光，心情也一直压抑着。

昨天陪我爸参加了一个重温60年代的古粤菜晚会，还真地不是一般两般的豪华。虽然菜肴都称得上是上等美食，不过对我而言少了所谓的‘怀念感’。也对，我又不是60年代的 。和我同座的都是和我老爸生意有来往的，见到我不禁说起和我老爸生意上的故事，也说起当年创业的点点滴滴。 一班老前辈给我的很多的启示，也让我看清了所谓‘大人的应酬’。一顿晚宴就在红酒和喧哗声中度过了。。。

最近发现常常和女友吵架。他说已经放弃了和我沟通， 说和我沟通有问题。嗯，我承认的。觉得不同的性格还真的很难协调呢。我家人依然很关注我的感情事，不过嘴上都说要我自己就走自己的路。哎，好吧， 只要老人家开心的，我也就没什么好说了。一段感情真的不容易处理，说得每一句话都有可能会影响对方的心情。在朋友圈里，说到一些不中听的，别人大多不会给你脸色看；不过情侣就不同说了。也因为这样，很多时候无意说得一些话常常伤到对方，结果把好好的一个话题闹得不欢而散。

老妈最近有点没精神，很担心。他说现在运动会有点想晕，手脚也有点麻痹。他说是化疗后的正常后遗症， 不过化疗不是上个月尾已经结束了吗？后遗症会延续这么久吗？我很担心。

28号就要回纽卡了。纽卡不知道这31天会有什么变化呢？很期待的说。

这次也是我最后一次踏上回纽卡的飞机了。年尾回来也就得开始人生的另一个阶段。时间真的过得好快哦，3年半的英国生活很快就要划上句点。朋友也要各散东西了。以后大家是否还能坐在一起涮火锅，聊聊近期发生的琐事呢？

同一片天下，我们也许还会见面吧？

I never realise how much I missed Newcastle, at least not for the past few years when I'm away and spending my Summer back in Malaysia. The things that I missed dearly back there, its people, the smiles, the weather, and also the companies... things that no single word can perfectly describe.

I once sat in front of my apartment's window, pondering out and waiting for the sun to set. Autumn was near and the air was breezing cold. I sat there, not knowing what I'll find, less what I am looking for. I just sat there, and this scene came before me. I took my SLR and took a picture of it. its beauty is still engraved in my mind, one of the many wonderful memories during my time in Newcastle.

People expand their readings to gain more in life. I expand my readings partly because I need to. My time in Newcastle has brought me numerous unexpected exposure to the world outside of Law. the first of which was Human Resource Management (haha). I clearly recalled myself smiling whilst flipping through the pages, uncovering uncharted terrain with every sheet I turn over. The experience was somewhat weird at first but grows on you over time. To that special occasion, I snapped a picture of the very sticky tag which got me started.

Having to venture into Law meant a lot to me. Having to know the rule of Law and the reasons behind it - serving time in the Library drafting up Particulars and preparing submissions were undoubtedly some of the best and more challenging times throughout the course. There were happy times, like the Masses we attended and the drinking sessions we use to commit ourselves to attend; and of course there were the bad times: meeting deadlines and covering large amount of readings and information overnight. I was however, able to pass through the bad times with the help of my trusty laptop - spending hours on it researching and typing out my submissions.

One night, after being exhausted typing out my skeleton argument for Advocacy assessment the next day, I took aim and released the shutter - remembering the rainy days my laptop has accompanied me through.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Friends are important. it's that simple. Without them life in Newcastle will be no different than having stranded in a isolated island. No man's an Island, or so they say. Every face tells a story, and every story is unique and irreplaceable. Friends that have accompanied me throughout my days in a foreign country, both special and dear to me.....

and because of that, nothing less than a frame of heart could describe my deepest gratitude.

最近开始厌倦生活，开始回想过去
心里不停的对未来感到不安， 也发现觉得自己其实很渺小。

不敢过分奢求，只但愿不要失去太多，
突然喜欢上放空，因为只有这样才能停止心中的压抑。

周围的改变，让我更了解自己，
发现原来很多事情不能过于分析，很多人不能只看外表。

如今的心情，就如3月的天气般无常，
时起时落飘浮不定，心里常想要的竟然是另一个极端。

麻醉自己，可能是一种解脱，
醒后发现悲哀依然存在，燃烧的只是那刻想逃避的心灵。